"Cannibal of Miami" confirmed as host of LQP-79 virus

Rudy Eugene, 31, the so-called cannibal of Miami who was fatally shot as he chewed on another man’s face in a gruesome attack over the weekend, has been confirmed for hosting the relatively unknown LQP-79 virus, rather than the theory that he was intoxicated on so called “bath salts”.

Armando Aguilar, president of the Miami Fraternal Order of Police, stated a a press conference, “Rudy Eugene, the attacker, has been confirmed as a host for a virus. The virus destroys internal organs and affects the brain waves to make humans hungry for human flesh.

How Mr. Eugene contracted the virus is still an unknown, but we do know that the virus is highly contagious. It has already spread to a number of individuals, however these individuals have been placed in quarantine. No cure is available for the LQP-79 virus, as of yet. It may also cause Necrotizing fasciitis, a deadly, but rare condition that eats your skin away.